The Testimony of Nina Brown: From Intern to Radio Producer
I am fearlessly living my dreams. I love my life. I am fulfilling my purpose. I have truly received spiritual peace. I am God’s Girl.
My story is a simple one.
Since an early age, I have always dreamed about working in radio and TV. As a little girl, I would envision myself as the next Ricki Lake, hip hop magazine writer or radio personality. My family would always co-sign saying, I had what it took and believed the sky was the limit & I just needed to spread my wings and fly. However, post-high school, things didn’t go as planned. I was pregnant at 19 and trying to figure me out. I knew there was something special within, but between the curve balls life had thrown me & insecurities from the past, I couldn’t find my niche. So I did what most people do, put the dream on hold, get a job to pay bills and live check to check… hoping for a break, somehow, someway.
It was around the age of 22 or 23 when I began realizing, life was too short to settle for mediocrity and the big break wasn’t gonna come unless I induced it — it was time to chase my dreams… finally.
Hindsight is truly 20/20 and while I can tell the story now and smile because I made it, I can humbly say, it wasn’t easy getting to this point, but it’s where God ASSIGNED me to be. It was my pre-destined fate, my spiritual purpose and what I now know & understand about purpose is…
Once you realize your spiritual purpose and are obedient in it, God will move mountains, valleys and seas for you because it is the very thing He created you for and no one in the world can throw God’s plan off. No one in the world can take from you what God has for you — not a job, a spouse, or even a dream… Believe that!
My testimony is what makes me special… My testimony is the only thing that defines me.
It was the Summer of 2003, I was driving down Atlanta’s I-85 when I heard a commercial on V-103 advertising the Connecticut School of Broadcasting. As I listened to the commercial highlighting a career in radio and TV, I immediately knew it was the missing link… It was that instant & so clear to me. I immediately enrolled at the CSB campus in Dunwoody and the grind became my reality. Here I was, back in school and still working 55 hours a week as a collections manager AND a full-time mother of a 4 year old! Life was in full speed, and I loved every bit of it.
January 3, 2005, for the first time ever, I stepped foot into V-103 and my internship in the sales department began…
At the time, I didn’t understand how important it was to “plant my seed where I wanted to grow,” I was just anxious to get my foot in the door. Interning in the sales department was another test of patience because all I did was sit in a quiet storage room filing countless sales invoices.
While I sat buried in the storage room with invoices up to my nose, I couldn’t help but think, I wanna be where the action is. I wanna be in the studio or somewhere exciting… but I wouldn’t dare complain, I had to pay my dues! I was so determined to be the best at everything within my control, so at that point; I had to be the BEST paper-filer V103 had ever seen!
That was my philosophy from the beginning, be the best at everything… make every conversation count… make every impression lasting… build, build and keep building so people could only say great things about their newest intern, Nina Brown.
This philosophy worked because I wasn’t filing invoices long… I transferred from the sales department to the promotions department and after 2 short months of interning, was hired as a part-time employee of the V103 Promotions Team.
Transitioning from corporate America to the entertainment industry full time was one of the most difficult transitions I’ve ever made.
At that point in my corporate career, I was making $60,000 a year, owned 4 homes (3 were rentals & 1 was a beautiful 3 bedroom town home I had built), I drove a decent SUV, and really fell for the hype… I had secured the “American dream”.
But the truth of the matter was, I was far from happy. In my heart, I knew God didn’t create me to collect bad checks or manage a collections agency. I just knew my purpose was much greater.
While I had obtained all of the tangible things people work years for, by the age of 23, I was still missing something in my life… There was a void and I couldn’t figure out why. It was at that point that I started to think about my life in a more spiritual way.
The Spiritual Transition Begins…
I began planning for “tomorrow” instead of craving instant gratification. I started writing down my life goals and brainstorming different ways to stay relavant.
I figured, if I had to “work” I needed to find a job doing something I loved doing… I was determined to find a job that would allow me to fulfill my Godly assignment.
The transition from Corporate America’s “safe zone” to the “no guarantee” Entertainment Industry was the biggest risk of my life… talk about fear!
While I was so close to breaking away from society’s trap, I was also treading on unknown territory and sooo worried if I was making the right decision. No one really understood what I was going through at that time, so many of the decisions I made were ones with little or no guidance from friends & family. While many people said, “You would be perfect in radio” the same people couldn’t understand how I could throw away so much financial success as a department manager at my corporate job for something so volatile and unknown.
In one hand, I had crystal-clear vision, in the other; dreadful fear.
I remember having to figure out what I was willing to sacrifice in order to fulfill my dreams. What was it worth? I had to simplify a very complicated time in my life by asking myself several complex questions - and the answer could only be one or the other… either yes or no.
Was I willing to sacrifice a very comfortable salary that afforded me everything I desired in life for long term happiness?
Yes!
Was I willing to sacrifice time with loved ones in order to be fulfilled?
Yes!
Was I willing to trade in my 8 hours of sleep every night for 3 or 4 just to prove to the world, I had what it took? (Side Bar: My dreams wouldn’t let me sleep…)
Yes!
Was I willing to sacrifice my flawless credit score of 750 for spiritual growth?
Yes!
Once I determined what sacrifices I was willing to make, I was ready to transition.I never knew what they meant by “walking on faith” until that moment, but suddenly, it all made sense…
I was so determined to make it, and was willing to sacrifice everything I had. Without any guarantees or secured answers, I just knew, God would guide me on my journey… somehow, someway.
Things got scary…
Let me be honest with you, in 2005, I went from making $60,000 a year to LESS than $20,000 a year.
In less than a year after quitting my “good” job, my savings account hit ZERO, my retirement account was completely withdrawn, my credit cards were maxed out and my checking account was singing the blues.
When I went thru the financial despair, I began having these crazy panic attacks. My financial worry would take over my entire thought process and I would be in tears at the very thought of it. The anxiety was unbearable.
I felt stress like I had never felt before. Until that point, I had never paid a bill late, never had a Collector call my phone and I never knew what it felt like to not have access to money for everyday expenses.
I was raised to believe that credit was EVERYTHING, and my 750 credit score defined who I was as a person… Yes, a 3-digit number somehow was able to determine my happiness in life. My father drilled it into my head and as soon as I was able, I started building my credit empire. I had become so accustomed to hearing banks tell me, I could buy ANYTHING I wanted with my impressive credit. It was my pride & joy…
My name was Nina & I had a 750-credit score!
Quicker than I could keep up with, my credit score was falling like raindrops in a quiet storm. With every late invoice I received, I contemplated quitting. I knew I could easily get another job as a manager or resort back to the “comfort zone of Corporate America”.
I almost threw in the towel more times than I can remember…
Things turned around one Sunday, as I listened to Bishop Eddie Long preach about “worry”.
Bishop talked about being so overly worried about our problems and not allowing God to do His work. Bishop said, instead of trusting God like we are supposed to, we allow our worry to take over our faith. Bishop explained how we are constantly trying to figure out solutions to our despair, when we should put our faith in the man above and watch Him fulfill His spiritual promises.
I now realize, being in church that day was by no coincidence, it was a blessing! Bishop Long’s message changed my life!
It was time to restore my faith in God. It was time to release the anxiety and trust that my Father in Heaven would never bring me this far to leave me. I left the sanctuary with a plan of action.
If I worry, I need not pray, but if I pray; I need not worry.
I made a choice that day to do one or the other because it was spiritually impossible to do both. What message did I want to send God? A message of faith or a message of fear? I chose faith.
I let go of all of financial worry and re-applied the energy!
I took time to reflect on the time right before my transition when I asked myself what was I willing to sacrifice for my long term happiness. I quickly reminded myself, my financial security and credit were 2 things on that list, so now wasn’t the time to flip out because things were hitting rock bottom. I had to pull it together!
Hitting rock bottom meant there was only one direction left to go… UP!
Like so many, I had the spirit of fear in my heart. I didn’t even realize it was fear because I had been living with it for so long. Once I understood where I was in my spirituality, the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders and I was able to move so much faster. All because I simply put my faith back in God and trusted Him totally. Finally, I let my faithful actions, speak louder than my convincing words.
Bishop was right, if you trust in God, He will not let you down… At my weakest moment, I was my strongest.
Things began moving so fast…
As previously mentioned, I was hired in the Promotions Department 2 months into my internship. Although I made it on payroll, the money I was making couldn’t even afford me gas to get to and from work. In the entertainment industry, you literally have to start from the bottom and work your way up. It’s very much a “dog-eat-dog” world, but truly proves, only the strong survive.
Even though, I was at the “bottom” (in position & pay), you would never have known…Every day, I smiled like I was at the top of the world. For the first time in my life, I was making the least amount of money, yet was the happiest I had ever been.
In my world, I was officially living my dream and that was enough to keep me going. More importantly, God kept showing me confirmations that I was on the right track. When the devil of despair would whisper in one ear to quit, the Holy Ghost would whisper a little louder to keep going. Thankfully, I went with the louder of the two :)
God’s favor became more and more evident and with each day, I was getting closer and closer to my ultimate goals. When someone would close a door on me, God would open the garage… While they were walking in, I was driving in… it felt sooooo good.
Close friends and co-workers would ask me, “Aren’t you frustrated with being at the bottom?” and “Aren’t you tired of making no money?” All I would is smile and simply say, “Nah, my blessings are coming… I’m just paying my dues.”
I tried to explain to people, up until that point, my life had been easy. Thankfully, I didn’t have to make many sacrifices… I was healthy, had a good upbringing, two loving parents and always could find a decent job.
This was the first time, God made me work for something I really wanted… I wouldn’t dare ask for a short-cut.
God was putting me thru the “test” in order to give me my testimony.
I made the investment for the final destination because I knew, the final destination would be so amazing and so beautiful.
I tried to explain to the haters, the doubters and the worried; God chose me. My assignment was specific and because I understood this, He expected me to stay focused.
Some people understood my spiritual confirmations, but most didn’t. However, it didn’t matter because I understood every bit of it! My God is an awesome God and His favor is incredible!
While it may sound like I was strong during such a sacrificial time, I wasn’t always so confident. I swear, there were days I would cry for hours on end because I didn’t understand something technical. There were PLENTY of days Frank would fuss at me for mis-managing our show and I would cry a river each & every time.
I wore my emotions on my sleeve and it hurt to fail at something I wanted so badly. There were days I felt like the biggest failure. On top of that, I remember hearing from my superiors that I would NEVER be the producer of the Morning Show.
I remember like it happened yesterday…
It was a Saturday afternoon when our Programming Director called me into his office and in the most non-chalant way said, “You will never be the producer, you don’t have any experience and you don’t know enough people. A producer rely’s on contacts and you were just an intern, its not possible… This is Atlanta, this is V103, this is the Morning Show and you’re not ready. Besides, Frank agrees… we need experience.”
I could physically feel my heart breaking…
My spirits were crushed and the tears were on the verge of spilling over uncontrollably. However, I refused to let him see me break. I held the tears and nodded to show I understood what he was saying because there were no words in the world that could change his mind.
Feeling so defeated, I sat in V-103′s parking garage and cried for hours.
I remember writing Frank a 3 page email on my Sidekick, just letting all of my feelings out. I asked him if it were true that he didn’t believe in me and if he also felt I would never be the producer of his Morning Show.
After sending the email, I cried for hours more…
I truly believe Frank’s honest reply turned out to be one of my greatest blessings…
Frank told me, he didn’t doubt I would be one of the greatest producers to step foot in the game… in 5 more years. He said, after being in the game for 25 years, he needed a producer who could do it better than he could… and it wasn’t my time.
He said, my day was coming and he couldn’t wait because one day, I’d be good enough to produce Oprah’s show. He explained how radio isn’t an over night process and people have to invest years and years to get Morning Show positions on any level, and especially the Producers level.
While I respected his honesty, my heart broke for the 2nd time… twice in one day, I was on a roll. In hindsight, I realize, I couldn’t be mad at them for doubting me… I was new to the game.
However, they didn’t know, I was God’s Girl and what God had for me, was for me… They didn’t know, God would make the impossible, possible in HALF the time. And they didn’t know, the position I was working so hard for was a position God assigned to me. They didn’t know the “sacrificial list” I made and I was prepared to hear no. And they didn’t even know, when they closed the door, God was hitting the garage opener.
Finally, it all made sense…
Every bit of drama and pain that happened in my life from my inception was finally making sense to me. God allowed me to go thru the hard times so I would appreciate the good times.
God allowed me to endure the challenges so He could work on my faith & build my character. God needed some one-on-one time with me in my most vulnerable state.
Now I understand, while God never creates pain or causes hurt… He is a God of love and service… and while He isn’t the breeder of pain, God won’t always rescue you from painful situations either. Everything from my parent’s divorce and custody battles as a child, to the feelings of insecurity, promiscuity and incompletion in my teen years were all faith & character builders to prepare me for my destiny… to prepare me for that very moment… my spiritual epiphany.
Arriving at my purpose.
In 2006 — less than 2 years since the day I stepped foot inside the radio station, God delivered on His promise; I was promoted to the producer of the Frank & Wanda Morning Show on V-103.
As producer, my job entailed so much… In the simplest terms, I do whatever I have to do to make certain the talent sound flawless.
Often times that entails lots of research, event planning, creative thinking, meeting after meeting, constantly on your toes to be bigger and better, non-stop hustling & networking, extremely early mornings, ridiculously late nights and world travel.
However, nothing is beneath me! If I have to go get coffee, pick up breakfast or sweep floors so they feel comfortable when they’re on the air, I will do just that! I feel so extremely blessed to be around countless years of wisdom & experience every day. To have Frank, Wanda & Ms. Sophia as my Morning Show Family, was God’s way of putting me in the very best position to excel and fulfill His purpose. I could not have asked for a better deal, God gave me the BEST deal He had!
I can’t front; working in the entertainment industry has incredible perks…
I never, ever imagined in my wildest dreams I would be able to say, I have chilled at Puff’s house on Star Island in Miami with Natalie Cole, Dallas Austin, Jay-Z, Pharrell, Andre Harrell and others, flew first class around the world to Beijing and Hong Kong to enjoy several days in another country, attend the 10 year Reasonable Doubt Anniversary Jay-Z concert in New York City via private jet, communicate personally with Russell Simmons, Kevin Liles, Hype Williams and other moguls, ride in Bentley’s with record label CEO’s like Russell Block Spencer, and be treated like their baby sister and would do anything for me at the drop of a dime, and spend hours in Tip’s home studio listening to music the world hadn’t even heard yet.
I NEVER imagined this would be my reality, but it most certainly is and it’s beyond incredible.
But trust me; this isn’t what makes my job so amazing. Believe it or not, there is something 20 times better than all of this! Imagine something better than these perks??? Is it even possible?
My job and my life are so special because I have discovered my purpose. I realized my Godly assignment and I’m fulfilling my destiny…
Being in radio, I have the power to influence hundred of thousands of people and the opportunity to change their life!
Because I am “Nina Brown, the producer of the Frank & Wanda Morning Show,” I am able to walk into any school, demand the attention of a class room full of teens, and they immediately listen because I have “the power”… The power of connections, a celebrity network and ummmmm, the concert tickets they would love to get their hands on :)
Understanding that I have the “power” means I also have a responsibility to use it for good. With this power, I lead by example and I talk to them about the importance of staying focused in school, the importance of respecting their parents and teachers, the importance of not having sex too early, the importance of humility and integrity. I talk to them about the importance of having character. I tell them EVERY mistake I made as a teen and young adult and why it’s so important for them to learn from my mistakes.
I tell them, “don’t be me, be better than me”.
I tell them the results of having a child early, I tell them the results of stealing and getting caught, I tell them the results of mistaking sex for validity. I tell them the HIV epidemic is real! I tell them the results of not going to college right after high school and the struggles of “hustling backwards”. I tell young girls, if you feel like you have no one to talk to, you can call me. I tell young boys, you can be anything you want to be, regardless of what society has stereo-typed you to be. I tell other young people, don’t be afraid to chase your dreams. I tell single mothers, your life is far from over just because you got pregnant young or because a man left you. I tell everyone, if I could do it as the “girl next door”, SO CAN YOU!
And this is why I love my job…. because I have the power to change lives and inspire so many to be better than they thought they could be. I have the power to encourage people to figure out what God’s purpose for their life is. I have the power to be a demonstration of faith and good works. I have the power to be transparent because I am not afraid of being vulnerable… God gives me strength.
God promised me light in my darkest hour and He went beyond the call of duty to deliver His promise.
I promise you, what I do isn’t rocket science. Honestly, I am no smarter than the next person and no prettier than the last girl. In fact, there may only be ONE thing I have over you…
Faith defines me… and I am truly fearless!
Let me say that again, I AM FEARLESS FROM THE INSIDE OUT!!! I am fearless because God did not put the spirit of fear in me! [2 Timothy 1:7]
In the fall of 2007, during an Inspirational Vitamin by Bishop Long (called “It’s Time”) I heard the words of 2 Timothy 1:7… God did not give you the spirit of fear.
I realized, if God didn’t equip me with a spirit of fear, I had the ability to shake it. The feeling of intimidation, failure, death, credit and the unknown were all apart of the spirit of fear I had lived with for so long.
I used to fear death and I used to fear time. I feared dying prematurely and leaving my son without a mother. I feared not having enough time in this world to leave my legacy. I also feared letting go of people who had become a staple in my life but always made me second guess my purpose in life.
Through Bishop Long I realized, God’s plan is already set in stone. Divine order is just that, divine. If you believe that God holds the blueprint to your lives, you can not be afraid when life takes you off track… The end result doesn’t change… if you believe.
I finally understood, when it’s time for me to return home to Him, it’s time. No need to feel fear. God doesn’t make mistakes. I can no longer be fearful of letting go of people because not every one has been spiritually assigned to me!
I was chosen by God and created so perfectly in His likeness…
So, when life presents the most difficult challenges, I embrace them. Tough times are temporary… said, God.
Because I have overcome the spirit of fear, I now fearlessly live my life like tomorrow isn’t promised and fearlessly wake up each and every day and thank God for instilling me with the resources, so I may be all that He designed me to be.
God has given me the creative genuis to paint pictures with words and a remarkable smile that can light up the darkest room. God has designed me tall in frame so I may not only stand out in a crowd but also stand closer to Him, vertically :) He has given me work ethic and resiliency. He has given me wisdom and vision.
God has given me my peace.
He has also given me an astounding mentor, Frank Ski. Frank allows me to run along side of him to learn by experience, but who will also stop me to make certain I never miss the big picture. He tells me when I’ve done well but he will also tell me what areas need work, so I can strive to go from good to great to the very, very best.
God has given me the most amazing, incredibly generous and compassionate mother who has always believed I could do anything I set out to do. My mom has supported me no matter what the dream was – if it was my dream, it was her dream and everyone needs a rock solid person in their corner. To receive her random emails that say, I am so proud of the woman you have become, makes me feel like I can take on the world. My mom is my biggest cheerleader and thinks I can do no wrong because God has favor over me.
God has given me the world’s best & most incredible Daddy. A Dad who has been a wonderful example of how a man should treat the women in his life and how a real Father takes full responsibility of his seeds. I have eternal memories as a child, of dancing in a sun-lit living room as my Daddy would sing to me as if he were the missing member of the Gap Band. I have eternal memories as an adult, of checking my voicemail and hearing Daddy singing, “I just called to say, I loooove you…” No matter how many times my Daddy and I bump heads; I will never deny the fact that he [Daddy] has given me my foundation & every bit of my strength. I will forever be Daddy’s little girl and the one who owned his heart. No matter how old I get or how many miles across country I move, I will always be his mini-me, who always wanted his last bite of food and would rather be up under him than playing outside with other kids. While I am Nina Brown to the world, I am Daddy’s skinny, fuzzy-haired little girl… known as his Mainey.
God has given me an incredible “Circle of Love” [my best friends] who will hold my hand no matter how bad things get. My COL will give me a shoulder to cry on, a hug to make me feel secure and the push I need to continue on. My COL don’t judge, they tell me how much I’m loved and they can make me laugh on any given day. God has given me an AMAZING front row of people who know I am capable of lighting the world on fire. And when my little light gets dim or goes out, my COF re-light my fire and say, “Go get em, Nina B!” They don’t waiver or ride the fence, they ride or die and pull triggers for me!
God has given me Bobby Patterson (aka BTown). Bobby has shown me the true meaning of character, nobility, strength, love & discipline. To be spiritually connected to him assures me we have a life-long friendship. BTown believes I’m capable of taking over the world. Often times, I look at him like he’s crazy, but he just shakes his head and says, “I’m telling you, Nina B, you’re ready!” When I do good, he gives me the thumbs up. When I make mistakes, he reminds me that the world is mine, and I must stay focus. He warns me that my future is so bright, it can blind some, but never to be afraid, I am a superstar. Bobby will give me his last bite, his last dollar and the shirt off his back… his heart is so genuine. Just an amazing individual and also one of God’s chosen few, who has never had the spirit of fear. Bobby “BTown” Patterson has shown me how to LIVE fearlessly, by his own example.
God has given me the most incredible child, Jaylen Alexander Atoa Johnson, who challenges me to be the best mommy I can be. To see Jaylen’s smile, receive his random, yet inquisitive questions and hear his growth, is proof that God’s angels are behind the faces of our precious children. Even with his imperfections, Jaylen is the sight of absolute perfection. God gave me Jaylen at 19 years old because He knew only an Angel from the Heavens above would slow me down and get me away from the reckless lifestyle I had adopted during my adolescence. His comedy & smile is the only thing I need when I run out of emotional fuel… Jaylen recharges me. I keep going, for him.
God has given me the most unselfish man as Jaylen’s father, Kegan Johnson. Kegan has supported every dream and aspiration since I was a naive 18 year old girl. Kegan’s patience has allowed me to transition into the woman I am today. I put Kegan through hell when I was 19, yet he continued to show me what unconditional love looked like when I had no idea what unconditional love was. Kegan is an amazing man… I am blessed to co-parent an amazing child with him.
God has given me humility, vision and the strength to stay focused no matter how busy the devil gets. He has given me the gift of LIFE with an abundance of faith… God has given me peace.
I give Him praise, glory and every bit of my love in return.
*For you to be reading these words at this point, means you read this entire BOOK :) And for that, I am humbled and so thankful. I’m not sure what brought you to my page, but I know what kept you… your spirit, which was led by God. Remember, there are no coincidences in life… This is only my story and I told it because I believe that there are others living with the same spirit of fear I lived with for so long. Please understand, God did not give you a spirit of fear. Do not allow it to trap you any longer… you have the power to live a life of faith, not fear…. The question is: When would you like to start living?
I challenge you to chase your passion, realize your purpose, and receive your peace. I challenge you to begin your assignment and fall in love with the mentality of fearlessness… I challenge you to be all you desire to be… be all God DESIGNED you to be. You can do it, I know you can — because God said you WILL.
Passion | Purpose | Peace
I am God’s Girl.
—–
When I was chosen as the Profound Women of America’s Empowered Woman for 2009. I had the opportunity to sit down with them and share my testimony…